20 Things I’ve Learnt At 20

Okay, posts like these are aplenty, in both writing and video. Nonetheless, this isn’t going to stop me from writing about my life experiences as though I have led a long, fruitful life with much hardship. I am, however, someone who reflects a lot, who’s severely paranoid and over thinks all time. I have also talked to people from all over the world online and off who share their stories so I have learnt a little bit about life here and there.

Some of you may know, but I turned 20 last week. When 2016 began, I just lost it and went into a full-blown existential crisis. 2015 zoomed past so quickly and for the first time, I had a year ahead that I didn’t know what was about to happen. I didn’t know where I would be, what I would be doing in December, or June even, so it is a big year.

I would like to think I have gained some wisdom through my years of experience of freaking out over nothing and here is me imparting that to you. I hope this serves as a reminder to me as well, and when I come back in the future to read this and realize I’ve strayed, I will slap myself.

On a side note, I do have like 6 wisdom teeth, which is above average, so I am definitely wiser than most. That’s how it works, right?

  1. You can’t rush life.

Unfortunately, you can’t. So you just have to take it slow, and remember that your time will come. This is something that I still have to constantly remind myself, but I’ve learnt that you really can’t so take things slow and feel excited not restless.

2. Plan

I am a strong believer in planning everything. You don’t need to carry an organizer or note everything down on your calendar but make mental lists of your week so you don’t forget your appointments and know what to look forward to throughout the week.

  1. You can never please EVERYONE.

Just like how you can never like everybody you meet, or you can find reasons to dislike even the nicest people. You realize you can never make everyone happy. Learn to accept that and focus on the fans, not the haters. Use the passionate negativity from the people who try to tear you down to make yourself a better person.

  1. There is no one better looking than a happy person.

We all want to look good. It is no secret, and it is surely not something to be ashamed of. But I have seen so many people so obsessed and dissatisfied with their looks, so much to an extent that it has become a turn-off. So just be happy and content, and don’t get too caught up with physical flaws you think you possess and you’ll naturally appeal to others.

  1. Don’t be afraid to take risks.

Safe is safe, but you’ll never be able to go far playing safe. Not saying you should set fires but feel free to venture out try new things and you’ll never know what new things you might discover about yourself.

  1. Take your time, but really think about your future.

It is something that everyone is clueless about, so the more you have to think about it. With every new job, or new thing you try, think about whether you do like it or not. The more you do think about it, the better you’ll figure it out.

  1. People care less about you than you think.

What you wear matters less than you think it does, unless it’s offensive. People definitely do notice and over time associate specific styles to you and that’s what matters, that you develop a personality through your actions and not by trying to be someone else.

  1. People care more about you than you think.

There is always someone you can talk to, who cares enough to help you with your problems. We don’t realize this often enough, but we matter more to others than we think, especially our loved ones.

  1. You can be a shit sometimes. Apologize and move on.

Nobody’s perfect and we all make mistakes. There will be times you actually are being a shit so just apologize and try to work on yourself from there.

  1. People are going to judge, so just, whatever.

I used to be so scared of what others’ first impressions of me were, and of any judgment at all but as time went by, I realized that people are going to judge no matter what, and the only thing you should do is to not let it get to your head.

  1. Treat yourself.

Don’t be too hard on yourself and remember to treat yourself with little simple things once in a while, like your favourite food, doing something you really like or buying yourself something you had your eye on.

  1. Save money.

I spent all my pocket money throughout my life and now I am constantly broke. So, save as much as you can and don’t spend money unnecessarily so you can have enough funds leftover for rainy days.

  1. Don’t conform.

I used to follow the latest trends, and like what I thought was cool even though I didn’t necessarily like it that much. But I came to realize that doing that doesn’t make you truly happy and I would much rather do what makes me comfortable and happy and myself.

  1. You’re young; use your youth to your advantage.

Not only physically, but also time-wise. When you’re young is the only time you’ll have this much free time on your hands, unfortunately. So, go on adventures, spend time doing things you might be too old to in a few years. (like climb a mountain)

  1. There will always be something worse.

No shame in admitting I complain about everything and whine about life a lot but I constantly try to remind myself to stop because there is always something worse happening elsewhere.

  1. Don’t get too caught up with social media.

I used to be quite stressed out over the number of likes on my photos, number of followers and even the following followers ratio on my accounts. Then I realized that it wasn’t something I could necessarily control and it was quite foolish to worry over it. It’s alright to hope to get many followers and likes but I feel as long as you don’t keep thinking about it and go out of your way to attempt to improve your standing.

  1. Compare with no one but yourself.

It is an endless battle to continuously try to outdo others. Once you feel you’ve outdone someone, you’ll find yet another person to challenge. Instead, just strive to be the best version of yourself.

  1. Set goals and work towards them.

I feel it’s good to dream and that some dreams actually are attainable. Set a goal for yourself and work towards it, and eventually, with some hard work, you might just achieve it.

  1. It always helps to talk about it.

Bottling things up helps nobody. Talk to others and tell them your problems even if you don’t make sense. Makes you feel better, might even get some advice back.

  1. Please don’t be mean.

I’ve had my fair share of being mean to people and people being mean to me. It doesn’t feel good either way and I find that being bitter about situations don’t solve it so I’m going to try to be nicer to everyone.

You know, I say all these now. But right after writing these, I am sure I’ll forget about all these realizations I had and go back to overthinking everything.



#nowplaying | The Book of Love – Gavin James


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