22 Things I Wish 21-year-old Kenneth Knew

I’m 22! That’s… really old. I honestly feel like I’m 12, and the past year has gone by in such a blur. I was reflecting on my life some time back and I realized I have changed so much in the past year and a half, it’s pretty insane. Looking back, there are so many lessons I wish I had learnt earlier and how much differently I’d have done things if I’d known them.

  1. Mental health is so important; please take care of yourself.
    In the last year, I have had too many, too many breakdowns, episodes and attacks. I wish I knew to identify them and to seek help earlier. Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t be in as bad a state as I am now.
  2. You are not alone.
    I feel I have really fallen to the rockiest of bottoms in the last year and so many people have left me. Evidently, I was not in the best mental state to keep up with others. But still, a handful of people reached out and bothered to ask how I was doing when I’ve been silent for a bit. And it’s these people that I really cherish now and every time I feel alone, I will remind myself that I have these people, and it’ll cheer me up a little.
  3. Don’t be afraid to cut people off.
    Everyone fears being alone, but 4 quarters really is better than 100 pennies. Spending less time with people you don’t like as much means you have more time to spend with people you do like, and you’ll enjoy yourself more.
  4. Take a breather.
    Sometimes, you have to stop whatever you’re doing, step back and really take a breather. Things can get overwhelming sometimes and it is so important to remain calm so you can make clear-headed decisions.
  5. Surround yourself with only the best company, not who happens to be around at the time.
    I found that I was friends with a lot of people who happened to be around and it was hard to keep in touch after we lost the common schedule, like school or work. So, I find that now, even at work, I only get close to people who I genuinely trust and like spending time with, and not whoever just happens to be there. And these friendships are the strongest and most gratifying.
  6. Have open and honest conversations.
    Be truthful about what you feel, to yourself and others. And you’ll find the rock on your shoulders a lot lighter. Others may come up with solutions for you instantaneously even if its their first time hearing of your problem. And often, they’ll reassure you and point out how many of your insecurities are invalid. And you’ll feel better.
  7. Make sure to spend emotional connection time with your friends.
    It is important to spend time connecting to you friends and confide in them when you’re down, and support them when they are down. It really feels much better when you have someone to talk to when you are sad so try to reciprocate the effort if you can. Sometimes, you need to make special arrangements to schedule some alone time to talk to them and check in on them emotionally to make sure they’re doing okay, and so they know how you are doing as well.
  8. Running away actually might make things better.
    In the past year, I haven’t been home very much and I feel like that has actually helped because I don’t spend as much time with the people who make me unhappy. While usually, running away from your problems is the opposite of beneficial, I actually feel better when I stay out. Not the right thing to do, probably, but it still turned out to be helpful and kind of mentally healthy.
  9. Don’t take things to heart.
    Don’t be so uptight about the things people tell you. When you hear something from someone, take a moment to reflect and see if that really affects you, or if you really believe it. Sometimes people say things they don’t mean, so don’t take offence to everything, especially comments of people who don’t even matter to you.
  10. Don’t think or read too much into things. 
    So many times you’ve crumbled because you’ve thought too much about something. It’s important to remind yourself that just because someone isn’t replying your text, it doesn’t mean they hate you. Just because someone isn’t free to meet you, doesn’t mean they’re avoiding you. Learn to keep your mind in control and not think too far out of the box and you’ll be so much better.
  11. 22 is a huge number, don’t be overambitious.
    I’m halfway through the list and struggling lol. but its okay I’m sure I can think of more.
  12. Break the cycle.
    The more you’re feeling tired, the more you need to push yourself to break the cycle and do things. If you’ve spent the whole day laying in bed, push yourself to get out of bed and exercise. If you had a panic attack today, make the extra effort to go run. You’ll find that by breaking the cycle, it actually makes you feel so much better.
  13. Force yourself to do the things you enjoy.
    Even now, I have no motivation to do the things I used to enjoy: read, write, cook, bake, watch shows, listen to music. But I force myself to incorporate these activities into my days so that it will cheer me up and I don’t lost ALL life’s purpose, and it reminds you that feeling happy and carefree is possible.
  14. Appreciate the people who have stuck by you.
    Whatever way it is, show them that you’re grateful for them sticking by you through the lows. And acknowledge the effort they put in to try and understand & help you. Nobody really understands what another is feeling, but the fact they are willing to try is really telling of their character and you need to point it out to them because it will serve as encouragement. Similarly, be open with them about what they’re doing well and how they can help you more.
  15. Be more confident in yourself.
    Self explanatory, but in the past year, I have received so much validation, encouragement and support from the people around me, that it makes me realize that I am actually not as bad as I think I am.
  16. Make better choices on the things you spend money on.
    Treat yourself when you’re feeling down, and reward yourself when you’ve picked yourself up, and spend money on things that bring you gratification > satisfaction.
  17. Don’t be so emotionally reliant or dependent on people.
    Learn to stand by yourself. People will be there for you but they can’t be all the time, they have their own things to do. So, learn to be okay on your own; if others are there, its a bonus, but don’t see it as a necessity or obligation.
  18. Don’t panic about things you cannot control.
    Cannot emphasize this enough. Spent too much time panicking about things out of my control and then I can’t even console myself because I can’t even fix the situation. Try not to think about them and look for ways to work around them rather than focusing on how they affect you.
  19. Learn to be more optimistic, and look at the brighter side of things!
    It’s funny how you can look at something one way, and then you tell it to someone else, and they instantly say something that dissipates the dark cloud above your head. And you kind of laugh to yourself and say hey why didn’t I just think of it this way this whole time. Try to be more optimistic about situations and you’ll find your problems a lot smaller.
  20. Be yourself and you’ll be truly respected.
    I used to put a lot of effort portraying myself as someone I thought others wanted me to be. But it was only when I started being myself that I found myself living my life more genuinely and finding true joy in everyday situations.
  21. Sometimes, you need time away from life and that’s fine.
    Isolate yourself for a few hours. drink some tea and listen to music, if it helps. Sometimes you need time to think through the thoughts in your head and some time alone to breathe. And that’s perfectly fine. Realize that, and practice it.
  22. Things will get better..
    It’s hard to convince yourself of this at times but I’ve seen this come true time and time again. Things will get better, just keep your head up and fight on. 🙂


#nowplaying | Follow Your Fire – Kodaline


“i’ll be okay.”

“I’ll be okay,” I say in response to your checking in on me, coupled with pursed lips and a slow inhale. I force a smile and you buy it. We’re in the clear, nobody knows I’m having a depressive episode right now.

“Oh, haha, okay. Feel free to talk to me if anything comes up! I’m always here to listen if you need!” I receive an enthusiastic response but shrug off.

I know you care, and I appreciate it; I do. But unless you’re suffering from depression as well, it’s likely you’ll take my response as it is, that I’m okay, and not probe further. Truth is, when I say “I’ll be okay,” I really mean “No.. My chest hurts, there is a dark hue clouding my vision, I want to lie on the floor and cradle back and forth, and if I’m being honest, I kind of want to die. But I don’t want to scare you with my problems so I shall not talk about them.”

But really, the conversations to be had with others are ones I’ve already had in my head for weeks over. Talking to others about it just reminds me my problems are there. Besides, I know they can’t help solve them; so really, telling them does nothing. The truth about having depression is you’ll always feel alone, like you’ve nobody to talk to, like the world hates you and you should just die. There can be somebody right in front of you, listening to your sob stories but they still can’t feel any further away. And you repeat your stories so many times you eventually get worn out and stop telling them altogether.

Nevertheless, somewhere deep inside, I truly believe I’ll be okay one day.

Because i’ve been obedient; my doctor says if I eat my pills daily and do the breathing exercises my psychologist teaches me and attend my counseling sessions, I’ll be able to manage my emotions better and feel less depressed. And if I choose to adopt the correct techniques, the dark clouds will be blown away and the sun will shine once again. And that if I just never give up, I will feel normal again one day. I admit it’s hard to convince yourself when everything you’ve tried so far doesn’t seem to be working. But maybe I’m doing them wrong, so I will try and try again until I feel okay.

Because I’m strong; fighting against my demons is hard. The voices in my head drone on and on, attempting to convince me to give in; futile, but annoying. I shut them out but they still find ways to seep through the cracks, stick their heads out and shout into the void every opportunity they get. I hate living like this, so I furiously tape up any crannies from which I fear the monsters can escape from. But it’s tiring; it’s exhausting to constantly patch holes up only to have more form, deeper and darker. It takes so much within me to continue holding on, and shovel more and more soil to fill up the pits, so much that I don’t have energy to do much else. But I believe if I keep going, mountains will appear where the holes once were, and I can stand on the peak, proudly shouting that I have conquered.

Because I have people around me who care, support, encourage and assure me so. I have a support system filled with friends who love me and want to see me get better. And for them, I continue pushing. For them, I eat, sleep, exercise, breathe and laugh. They hold my hand & guide me through the dark cave in the direction of the light. They shine the torch in my face so the bats and spiders know to stay away. They light campfires & I can finally stop shivering as I feel warm and safe. One day I will get out of the cave, and everyone will be standing there applauding me, and there will be streamers, balloons, loud music and the biggest cake. And we will all have a good time drinking, laughing and having fun.

So thanks for asking but the truth is I’m not really fine, and that’s alright, because I’ll be okay. Eventually I will get better and I’ll be okay. That’s a promise to myself and you; and I will die before I let myself falter.

Writing Daily?

I know I resoluted (?) writing weekly on this but I have still struggled to do that, so from now on, I am going to push myself and attempt to write here daily. It will be a challenge for myself. I will be looking for writing prompts online and talking about them.

Here we go!


Okay. I’m back.

I have no idea why but I completely lost the momentum / motivation to do any sort of writing right about my last post. I wasn’t even that busy. But a lot has changed in the past 8 (?) months so here’s a catch-up post + my current plan for the subsequent posts I am totally motivated in writing.

(I’m going to try, okay, but no promises)

Enlisting into the Army.

With my section during our first book out

Probably the biggest thing; I enlisted into the Army on Halloween 2016. It was something I knew was coming; as with every Singaporean teenager, but definitely not something I think about, want to think about or dared to think about. I was really nervous and afraid to enlist, but now that I’ve been here for slightly over three months, gotta admit my worries were terribly redundant. It is.. honestly, not as bad as I had envisioned.

Obviously, if given a choice between this and going to university / working, I’d instinctively pick the latter. But at this point, I am still unsure of what I’d like to do for the future. What field to work in, what courses to take in university, etc; so maybe this two years will do me good and help me to figure things out. I hope so, at least.

Actually, now that I think about it, I kind of know why I stopped back in June. About two weeks after my last post, my enlistment letter came. Additionally, my external monitor broke down so all work efficiency just went downhill.

Well, after about seven weeks in the Army, I fell terribly ill and was out for a whole week. I had really high fevers that didn’t go away, so I was half-expecting an imminent death. Long story short, I went to the hospital, thinking I had dengue or something, only to find out I had contracted pneumonia, which is a sort of lung infection. And after that, everything just kind of made sense, the bloody flu (by that I mean, blowing my nose and having lots of blood come out along with the mucus) and the burning sensation in my lungs and throat when I coughed (which was a lot). So, I was put out of training by the Army and to be posted to somewhere with less strenuous activity for the time being.

So, now I’m kind of doing administrative / clerical work at one of the camps and it’s going well so far. More updates to come as my army life progresses lol.



Went to Thailand for a long weekend in September and I went absolutely crazy shopping and drinking thai tea. I drank approximately 14 cups from Thursday to Sunday evening, and I actually took a break and switched to coconut juice one of the days cause I was falling sick.

Went to Thailand with the family, which I was kind of worried about, but it turned out fine-ish so that’s great. But if you’ve ever been to Thailand, you’d know that that place is like a shopper’s paradise. I am a huge shopper, I spend more time than I realize looking at things to buy online. Thankfully, I have amazing self control no money most of the time so I don’t end up buying most of the things I want, though I do add them into my cart and (figuratively) cry about it for a few minutes. Okay, maybe longer than that.

I digress; but Thailand is filled with lots of items that are cheap and actually quite nice-looking! I bought a bunch of cool (well, to me they are) all over shirts, and overalls, shoes and way too much food and I still had a lot of money left over.

Okay, actually, I’ll write a Thailand post. I wanna post photos of all the foods and clothes I bought but it’d make this post way too long. Thailand post out soon.

Gavin James

Gavin James *heart shape eyes*

Being me, I managed to catch a few concerts in the past months. Now one of my favourite singers, I managed to catch Gavin James at a FREE live gig in September! His song “Book of Love” was one of the Spotify advertisements back when I was still using Spotify (have swtiched to Apple Music now) and I went to check out the whole album and I loved it! But I only checked it out like about three weeks before the show so I didn’t fully appreciate it yet.

He was REALLY good live and I am so happy I managed to see him. Even after the show, I had his album on loop and was so in love with it lol. Ergh crazy talent. In fact, I listened to his album a lot when I enlisted and it got me through a lot of exhausting days.


Tickets to the F1 shows were insanely expensive but I’d say it was worth it. I went for 2/3 of the days and spent about $370 on tickets, which is a lot for an unemployed little boy waiting to enlist. But in my head, I honestly could not bear to miss it as the line up was pretty awesome.

Bastille + Queen

I quite liked Bastille’s new album so I decided to go, just for Bastille. Dan was very cute as he danced while singing. I don’t watch many live videos of them so I never noticed it. His voice was very powerful and boomed across the whole arena, for a lack of a better description.

Queen was, well, was not a Queen fan as they were not a band from my generation, but I knew many songs because of how famous Queen is + glee covered many of their songs. Queen is a legendary band so I figured, meh why not watch them too. I’m sure they will be nice to watch.

And oh boy was I wrong, they were phenomenal. The crowd was filled with many old people; no surprise there. But I talked to many of them and many of them were long time fans who said they’ve been waiting literally 40 years to catch Queen in Singapore. It was their first time in Singapore ever, which made it even more unbelievable that I was there to catch them live.

About 3/4 into the show I began to feel really sick and I think I was close to fainting. I couldn’t breathe and my head was spinning so I just sat on the ground and fanned myself. It was the first time I’ve ever felt that way, probably because I didn’t eat much that day. Then after the show I drank two bottles of coke and faced a second near-death in one night because empty stomach + acidic coke = stupid. So, yeah that was fun, kinda. Lesson learnt lol.

Halsey + Imagine Dragons

I was smart on the second day and snuck food in lol (can’t afford $10 burritos mate) so I did not feel sick on this day. Halsey was super pretty in real life and she sang really well live too. Her voice was so powerful I was blown away.

Imagine Dragons was also not a band I was particularly crazy about but I did like both their albums and loved a few songs so I figured ok I will go watch them and OH BOY was i wrong again. They were amazing live. They were radiating passion, honestly, and it was an inspiring experience to see them perform.

All in all, a great experience. Man, I love concerts and live music. I also went to Gentle Bones + Linying with Weiyan in June but there isn’t much to post about. It was cheap though and they were both great live so it was still a good concert!


I haven’t been baking or cooking that much but the only special thing I baked was mooncake! I got very inspired to bake mooncakes which was the WORST idea of my life because they were so hard to make! The dough was really soft and brittle, and the fillings had weird consistencies. Man, I initially thought they’d be manageable but I think this is the first time I concede defeat to a recipe. They look okay but some tasted weird and some exploded. And they took way too much time to make. Maybe I’ll attempt them again one day when I am much older, like for my kids or something but for now, I am done.

Future Posts

Just off the top of my head, I’m thinking that I’ll be posting some of my creative / fiction writing on here. Mentioned in one of my previous posts that I want to have a published book one day, so what better a time than now to practice, right? Besides that, I’ll be writing some entertainment pieces: reviews, lists about shows, books, anime, manga, movies, music, whatever. Then it’ll just be general updates about my everyday life, talk about some issues, some recipes and just ramblings from inside my head.

That’s all I have for now. This was a pretty long post lol. Bye!


#nowplaying | Neptune – Rusty Clanton (Sleeping at Last cover) 
Insane tune and awesome cover damn.


I’ve graduated!

I had initially told a few people I probably wouldn’t go for my graduation ceremony because I didn’t think graduating from polytechnic is that big an achievement. I mean, everyone in the cohort managed to pass the whole course and graduate so I didn’t think it was a big deal. But in the end, I figured, I should just go because this is once in a lifetime and I’m quite glad I did.

Sitting in the auditorium, watching all my coursemates go up on stage was a really surreal feeling. I never really realized what an achievement it is. And in my chair, panicking about falling on stage, I realized how much I’ve learnt in the past three years and how impactful they actually were; that graduating isn’t just about finishing your studies, but celebrating your achievements.

The past three years have been phenomenal, to say the least. Going to this course in polytechnic has pretty much paved my whole life for me. I’ve learnt things that cannot be learnt anywhere else and I’ll always miss it.


I’m grateful for my class, who has put up with my nonsense and me forcing them to listen to Kodaline for three years.I’m happy with all the people I’ve met and all the decisions I’ve made. The people I met here I’ll probably not forget for a long time. But through the friendships I’ve forged, I’ve learnt a lot about people and myself.

Well, as they say, all good things must come to an end. May everyone move on to better things!

Thanks to all friends, mothers and brothers for coming woo!


#nowplaying | Wasted Youth – Sody & Martin Luke Brown

My Bucket List


I’ve decided to start a bucket list. If you didn’t already know, a bucket list is a list of things, goals, experiences that you want to do, complete, achieve or experience before you “kick the bucket”, or die. Okay, so here goes!

  1. Visit all the Disneylands in the world at least once.

As of now, there is only six, so it isn’t actually that hard a feat, though by the time I make it to visit all six, there might be more. But ahh I love Disneyland. I have only been to Tokyo Disneyland so far but I was young then and ignorant so I didn’t fully enjoy it. Recently, I’ve been watching a lot of Disneyland videos and seeing photos of people in Disneyland and I just really want to Disney everywhere now.

Pre-teen me at Tokyo Disneyland. 
  1. Work in a huge media / entertainment company

I’ll probably be working in marketing seeing how I am not very good at the media stuff haha but currently, I have my eyes set on Disney/Pixar (no surprise there), Marvel or SourceFed. I’ve always loved the X-Men and grew up watching the X-Men and Spiderman cartoons. I really need to read the comics and I would if they were more accessible but I think it’ll be a great place to work at. But recently, I got really into SourceFed again. I used to watch them a little long time ago but didn’t really get it because I was young. Now that I am older and more knowledgeable about my interests, I find that I really like a lot of the stuff they cover: anime, books, movies, TV shows. So I think it’ll be realy cool to work there.

  1. Adopt a kid.

If you know me, you’ll know that I really love kids and joke about wanting 10 kids. In an idea world, I would want 10 kids but unfortunately obviously it’s not very possible and will probably really hurt someone’s body. So I’d like to adopt kids someday; giving someone who may not be as lucky a happy and loving home.

  1. Write a book

I love stories; be it in movies, shows, books, etc. I loved reading when I was younger so it would be very cool to write a book one day. I am hoping I would be able to write a fiction book and a cookbook one day.

  1. Own a bakery

There was a time I was especially determined about this and even wrote a whole domination plan and even planned out a menu haha. But I love baking and would love to one day have food as a career.

I will be expanding this list soon because I definitely have a few more which I need to think of. I’m so excited and motivated to start ticking things off this list now hehe. Okay, till next time!


#nowplaying | Talk Too Much – COIN


RECIPE: Waffles

waffle copy

In a world filled with pointless debates after opinionated arguments, it is important to take sides on trivial social issues.That being said, which do you prefer; a spongy, syrup-soaked stack of fluffy pancakes or crispy pockets of sweet buttery waffles? Are you #TeamPancakes or #TeamWaffles?

I am on #TeamWaffles and it is no surprise why; they are great. Growing up, I would visit the neighbourhood bakeries for their waffles with a thick, rich layer of chocolate spread. Somewhere around my teenage years, my palate shifted to crave the creamy peanut butter waffles instead. Then, scoops of ice cream on warm waffles became a commodity. All my life I have quite adored waffles and eaten them on a regular basis.

After experimenting a couple of times, I’ve found my favourite recipe for these breakfast treats. Now, the key to a good waffle is to have it crispy outside, but fluffy and soft on the inside. One wrong step and you could have chewy, deformed waffles.

There are a few key steps to a good waffle. First, you have to sift the flour to aerate it. This step is really important. Having unsifted flour will make the better heavy and harder to achieve a good rise. In fact, if you feel like it, you can do an even more thorough job and sift it twice. I’ve heard that helps but really, once is enough.

Secondly, beat the egg whites. Many people don’t like this step or skip it because it is troublesome but it is so worth it; I have found it really helps to alleviate the texture of the waffle. Separate the egg whites from the wet ingredients and beat it to soft peaks before gently folding it into your batter at the end.

Next is the potato flour. Honestly, I have no idea what potato flour is used for but in this case, I have found that it makes the waffles extra crispy, so it’s key you don’t leave it out. If you can’t find potato flour, it can also be replaced with cornstarch/corn flour. I have realized that by increasing the proportion of potato flour, the batter becomes thicker.

I have found that the pouring of the batter is also a crucial step. You’ll need to try it out a few times before getting the hang of it. You need to fill it enough so that it has sufficient batter to rise in the waffle iron and form its shape, but not too much that it spills out of your waffle iron. (which will cause a sticky mess that’s hard to clean)

Follow this recipe and you’ll find yourself with a great waffle for breakfast! I love this recipe and make it all the time. I once had a friend eat 7 of my waffles in one sitting, though I have no idea if she was really hungry or my waffles were just that good, but I’ll choose to believe the latter.

I really like having my waffles with butter and golden syrup. Occasionally, I will eat it with spreads like Nutella or peanut butter as well. It’s great for when I’m hungry but in a hurry. Sometimes, I would store leftover batter in the fridge (for up to 3 days in a covered container) and cook it up as a snack when hungry.

So, are you #TeamPancakes or #TeamWaffles, and how do you like to have them?

1 ½ cup all-purpose flour
¼ cup potato flour
2 tbsp. granulated sugar
1 tbsp baking powder
¾ – 1 tsp cinnamon (or spice for a different flavour)
¼ tsp salt
2 eggs, seperated
1 ¾ cup whole milk
½ cup vegetable oil
1 ½ tsp vanilla

1. Sift all your dry ingredients (flours, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, salt) together in a large mixing bowl.
2. In a separate mixing bowl, mix together your wet ingredients. (egg yolks, milk, oil, vanilla)
3. In another mixing bowl, beat your egg whites to soft peaks.
4. Using a whisk or hand mixer on low, mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients until just combined.
5. Gently fold your egg whites into the batter. It will be slightly lumpy and bubbly at the top.
6. Pour batter into your waffle iron and let cook for 5-6mins until golden brown. Do not open up your waffle iron to check in between.
7. Let cool for few seconds after removing cooked waffle from iron to crisp up.

Recipe adapted from Something Swanky.


The Light at the End of the Tunnel


Okay so this week’s post isn’t going to be much but I just felt really inspired by something so I wanted to talk about it.

I’ve mentioned this previously but one of my favourite bands ever is Walk The Moon. A few weeks back, (well all my posts are written in advance so everything is essentially backdated) they cancelled a tour. I mean, I wouldn’t normally care that much about it because it’s not like I’m going for the tour so. But they announced it with quite a sad message that made me think a little.

Screen shot 2016-04-24 at PM 11.17.37

The part that impacted me was the last few lines.

“Through this time, it continues to be our dream and our mission to take the darkness in our lives and mold it into light + color. The only way out is through.”

I love this band specifically for their optimism, hope and positivity. They’ve always aimed to spread happiness and they even have a ‘meditation’ segment in their live shows where they get everyone to channel all the negative energy in their bodies and push it out. It was a therapeutic and heartwarming moment because there and then, you could see everyone was happy and this band had personally connected with everyone.

Many times, we find ourselves stuck in a phase of unhappiness, or metaphorically, a ‘dark period of our lives’. And unfortunately, whenever I’m in an emotional pickle, I just wallow in self-despair and just continue feeling sad without attempting to change much. I just sit there and continuously go over the bad things in my head.

We’ve all heard the saying: ‘there’ll be a light at the end of the tunnel’ but to me, I’ve always focused on how far the light is, as opposed to how much bigger the end of the tunnel is becoming.

The lines from their note above basically means that we will all experience bad things and it’s something we all have to go through at one point or another. While it may seem devastating at this point, you have to remember that it will end at one point, and you will be on the greener side of the grass.

I have no idea where I was going with this word diarrhea but if you came here for a life lesson but instead got confused by my circling around everything, here it is.

When you’re in a situation you don’t like, you can always work towards making the situation better. Wiggling stationary in your spot will not help you make any progress, so walk towards the light at the end of the tunnel.

I hope I will remember to apply this the next time I’m sad, which I’m hoping is not anytime soon.


#nowplaying | Iscariot – Walk The Moon


20 Things I’ve Learnt At 20

Okay, posts like these are aplenty, in both writing and video. Nonetheless, this isn’t going to stop me from writing about my life experiences as though I have led a long, fruitful life with much hardship. I am, however, someone who reflects a lot, who’s severely paranoid and over thinks all time. I have also talked to people from all over the world online and off who share their stories so I have learnt a little bit about life here and there.

Some of you may know, but I turned 20 last week. When 2016 began, I just lost it and went into a full-blown existential crisis. 2015 zoomed past so quickly and for the first time, I had a year ahead that I didn’t know what was about to happen. I didn’t know where I would be, what I would be doing in December, or June even, so it is a big year.

I would like to think I have gained some wisdom through my years of experience of freaking out over nothing and here is me imparting that to you. I hope this serves as a reminder to me as well, and when I come back in the future to read this and realize I’ve strayed, I will slap myself.

On a side note, I do have like 6 wisdom teeth, which is above average, so I am definitely wiser than most. That’s how it works, right?

  1. You can’t rush life.

Unfortunately, you can’t. So you just have to take it slow, and remember that your time will come. This is something that I still have to constantly remind myself, but I’ve learnt that you really can’t so take things slow and feel excited not restless.

2. Plan

I am a strong believer in planning everything. You don’t need to carry an organizer or note everything down on your calendar but make mental lists of your week so you don’t forget your appointments and know what to look forward to throughout the week.

  1. You can never please EVERYONE.

Just like how you can never like everybody you meet, or you can find reasons to dislike even the nicest people. You realize you can never make everyone happy. Learn to accept that and focus on the fans, not the haters. Use the passionate negativity from the people who try to tear you down to make yourself a better person.

  1. There is no one better looking than a happy person.

We all want to look good. It is no secret, and it is surely not something to be ashamed of. But I have seen so many people so obsessed and dissatisfied with their looks, so much to an extent that it has become a turn-off. So just be happy and content, and don’t get too caught up with physical flaws you think you possess and you’ll naturally appeal to others.

  1. Don’t be afraid to take risks.

Safe is safe, but you’ll never be able to go far playing safe. Not saying you should set fires but feel free to venture out try new things and you’ll never know what new things you might discover about yourself.

  1. Take your time, but really think about your future.

It is something that everyone is clueless about, so the more you have to think about it. With every new job, or new thing you try, think about whether you do like it or not. The more you do think about it, the better you’ll figure it out.

  1. People care less about you than you think.

What you wear matters less than you think it does, unless it’s offensive. People definitely do notice and over time associate specific styles to you and that’s what matters, that you develop a personality through your actions and not by trying to be someone else.

  1. People care more about you than you think.

There is always someone you can talk to, who cares enough to help you with your problems. We don’t realize this often enough, but we matter more to others than we think, especially our loved ones.

  1. You can be a shit sometimes. Apologize and move on.

Nobody’s perfect and we all make mistakes. There will be times you actually are being a shit so just apologize and try to work on yourself from there.

  1. People are going to judge, so just, whatever.

I used to be so scared of what others’ first impressions of me were, and of any judgment at all but as time went by, I realized that people are going to judge no matter what, and the only thing you should do is to not let it get to your head.

  1. Treat yourself.

Don’t be too hard on yourself and remember to treat yourself with little simple things once in a while, like your favourite food, doing something you really like or buying yourself something you had your eye on.

  1. Save money.

I spent all my pocket money throughout my life and now I am constantly broke. So, save as much as you can and don’t spend money unnecessarily so you can have enough funds leftover for rainy days.

  1. Don’t conform.

I used to follow the latest trends, and like what I thought was cool even though I didn’t necessarily like it that much. But I came to realize that doing that doesn’t make you truly happy and I would much rather do what makes me comfortable and happy and myself.

  1. You’re young; use your youth to your advantage.

Not only physically, but also time-wise. When you’re young is the only time you’ll have this much free time on your hands, unfortunately. So, go on adventures, spend time doing things you might be too old to in a few years. (like climb a mountain)

  1. There will always be something worse.

No shame in admitting I complain about everything and whine about life a lot but I constantly try to remind myself to stop because there is always something worse happening elsewhere.

  1. Don’t get too caught up with social media.

I used to be quite stressed out over the number of likes on my photos, number of followers and even the following followers ratio on my accounts. Then I realized that it wasn’t something I could necessarily control and it was quite foolish to worry over it. It’s alright to hope to get many followers and likes but I feel as long as you don’t keep thinking about it and go out of your way to attempt to improve your standing.

  1. Compare with no one but yourself.

It is an endless battle to continuously try to outdo others. Once you feel you’ve outdone someone, you’ll find yet another person to challenge. Instead, just strive to be the best version of yourself.

  1. Set goals and work towards them.

I feel it’s good to dream and that some dreams actually are attainable. Set a goal for yourself and work towards it, and eventually, with some hard work, you might just achieve it.

  1. It always helps to talk about it.

Bottling things up helps nobody. Talk to others and tell them your problems even if you don’t make sense. Makes you feel better, might even get some advice back.

  1. Please don’t be mean.

I’ve had my fair share of being mean to people and people being mean to me. It doesn’t feel good either way and I find that being bitter about situations don’t solve it so I’m going to try to be nicer to everyone.

You know, I say all these now. But right after writing these, I am sure I’ll forget about all these realizations I had and go back to overthinking everything.



#nowplaying | The Book of Love – Gavin James

The Faith of Anna Waters

I don’t typically want to watch horror movies because well, they scare me. But being the son of a huge horror fan, I have been coerced into my fair share of horror movies. Though I would usually be home, hidden behind my pillow fort with all the lights on. So it is rare that you would spot me catching a horror movie at the cinema, a dark, quiet place with my legs exposed over the chair and things could potentially jump out of the screen.

However, my mum really wanted to watch it. I saw the trailer and it seemed really scary, but there was Adrian Pang, a local actor I quite admired and my mum promised me that we would watch Zootopia after so I complied.



‘The Faith of Anna Waters’ is about a Chicago-based reporter, Jamie Waters, whose sister in Singapore died in mysterious circumstances. So, she travels to Singapore and discovers a chain of deaths linked to her sister’s and solves the mystery behind this phenomenon. After some digging, she and her brother-in-law uncover the link between the deaths and a demon.

Directed by Singaporean director Kelvin Tong (It’s A Great Great World, The Maid), The Faith of Anna Waters is Singapore’s first Hollywood-financed movie, a big step for Singaporean filmmakers and it definitely did not disappoint.

Essentially a demonic hunting movie with biblical references, the concept itself isn’t particularly new, but despite so, the movie still has its twists and is not in the least bit predictable, managing to shine through with the actors and cinematography.

The movie had many creative ideas and one of the most aggressive supernatural antagonist characters ever. We rarely see the ‘ghost’ character so active in a film, such as dripping blood from directly above, or literally pulling sheets off of people but this film just quite managed to change that up. The trampoline scene in particular was a creative new idea and they executed it well enough to scare me. One twist I liked was that this was one of the first horror movies whereby the demon did not get expelled by the pastor and even managed to overpower him.

The plot of the movie was quite easy to understand. There were multiple ongoing storylines, they were each meaningful and when they all linked together at the end, it made for a mind-blowing ending.

One new thing about the supernatural in this film that I’ve not seen before is the use of technology. In the movie, it hacks into church websites to send a message and how it identifies new victims is through deleting contacts from the computer. The whole idea of using technology is quite new and refreshing, helping it to stand out from the clichéd horror movies we see everywhere.

The casting choices are impeccable. Adina Herz is about the eeriest and creepiest little girl you’ll ever meet. She played the role of Katie perfectly, when she was cute, she was adorable. But when she got possessed and was dragged into the basement by the demon, her sinister smile was haunting. While the main roles were played by Hollywood actors, many familiar local faces also made their way into the film, including Adrian Pang, Pamelyn Chee and Phua Chu Kang’s Tan Kheng Hua.

Despite being a media student, I am not the biggest film fanatic so I might be easier to impress but the special effects seemed really well made to me. From the doll bouncing on the trampoline, to the dripping blood from the ceiling demon, to the characters flying from one corner of the room to the other from the demon’s power, it was all quite spectacular to me.

I am definitely not the right person to trust for a scary rating but this was proper scary to me. Despite watching most of it from behind my fingers, scenes from the movie still manage to creep into my head days after.

I didn’t end up watching Zootopia after but I was fine with it. Overall, I would still call it a great movie and recommend watching it. This is Singapore’s first collaboration with Hollywood and if I were the one making the shots, this definitely wouldn’t be the last.

I realize the movie isn’t out in Singapore till May 12 (I watched it in Malaysia) so, be sure to catch it when it’s out! In the meantime, check out the trailer for The Faith of Anna Waters below!